Not Our First Rodeo
We drove the entire length of Italy 2 years ago and I wrote all about it. There are 2 dispatches dedicated to our travels there. This is the third entry on the nation of Italy but probably not the last. For this sojourn through, not only the entire length again, but also the islands of Sicily and Sardinia – we had a different mission. Yes, of course, we went to sample the food, wine, history, ancient ruins, beaches and medieval architecture, but this time we planned to specialize. The plan was to sample as many different regions, cities and villages as we could in order to lock down a few that we would want to live in. Or at least base ourselves out of, as we continue to travel. That’s right – We are planning to buy in Italy.
The Italian Campaign
If you had to pick one European country and never leave its borders, you’d be crazy to pick anything other than Italy. There - I said it and I stand by it. Italy has everything and in abundance. It’s at least 2 countries maybe 3. It has blondes and Alpine ski resorts in the north and ancient Greek ruins on sun kissed beaches in the south. It was the bastion of Western civilization for centuries and now it wallows on its past laurels as it fulfills its complete transformation into tourism and retirement. For a nerd who loves history & archeological ruins I’m in my element on this ridiculously long peninsula surrounded by the world’s greatest collection of livable art.
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| This, the first, and the following pix are from Cinque Terre |
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| See the WW2 Bunker? Remember - the Italians were the bad guys |
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| We walked the trail from Monterosso to Vernazza |
The Smear Campaign
If I let you believe that it is an absolute paradise then you’d come here and drive the prices up. Allow me to dampen your Italian lust for a bit.
I'm pretty sure the first thing every Italian does when they buy a car is to take off all of the emission controls. Then if they have to pass a smog test in two years, they just put it all back on the day before. The air quality is noticeably different when crossing from France. You can immediately taste it in the air. It stinks, burns your lungs and it was ever present for our whole trip. I love Italy but I do miss the clean air of France and northern Europe.
Planning Your Day
Here's the thing with these Mediterranean countries: The restaurants close at 3:00pm and the shops reopen at 3:00pm. So, you got to remember to time your meals with your errands appropriately. You want to start your meal no later than 2:00pm, knowing that you got an hour to eat before the restaurant closes, and then you can be the first one when the shops reopen.
If you get it backwards… you burn beneath the Tuscan sun without sunblock and then go hungry.
And if you didn't make it for lunch before three, good luck. Because now you’ve got to wait till at least 7:30 for dinner.
Italians hate toilet seats
Almost all public bathrooms (and that includes restaurants and campgrounds) are missing their toilet seats. Does that mean that a purchased toilet doesn’t come with a seat and they are too cheap to add it? Or does it mean that they’ve ripped it off for ease of cleaning and to take home as a spare? I don’t know, and can’t figure it out. Also, There is rarely soap and paper towels for hand washing. The center of Western Civ - yes, but not the high-level mark of hygiene. That’s a bitter pill for me to swallow as a germ freak.
Remember, Italians Are The Original Latins
That means they are loud and stay up late. No one can slam doors at midnight better than the Italian motorhome parked next to you. When you sit down to start dinner at 10:00 with your unruly children who apparently never had a consistent bed time our cultures are going to clash. That’s fine – I don’t appreciate children even from my own culture.
Italians: "Hey, we're making noise over here. We're making noise over here! Why don't you come over here and take a look at what's going on? We're making noise over here!!" Peacocks spread their feathers and Italians get loud and gesticulate. Anthropology is a nature show.
I can live with the nuisances. Italy isn’t perfect, nowhere is. I’ll take the minor chafe in exchange for the constant moments of delight I feel in this land of plenty.
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| Yes of course we went to Pisa |
As I age, I'm constantly reminded of how everything is relative. For instance, I've done so much driving all over the world that, contrary to popular belief, I actually think Italians are good drivers. Napoli is the exception. Do everything you can to avoid the center. Plan in advance and do not get closer than the SP1.
For some reason the toll roads stop south of Salerno. All roads are then free. I can only imagine it’s because they are poorer in the south and a revolution isn’t something that their government can afford. It’s simply cheaper to just pay for the roads on a federal level and leave the southerners alone.
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| Perugia |
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| Orvieto |
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| Sexy Arunca (not the real name but that's what everyone calls it) |
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| Morano |
The Demographics
Italy has the worst demographics in all of Western Europe. Bad for the citizens, but good for me. They have an aging population that isn’t being replaced by youthful tax payers. Low birthrate, young Italians moving abroad, and their grandparents retiring – That keeps housing prices low. Not good for sellers but good for a buyer who is never planning to sell.
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| Tropea |
There is a risk to my thesis…I need to be careful to buy in an area that doesn’t evaporate. You have no doubt heard of these 1 Euro homes you can buy in dying villages all over Italy. Sounds great but it’s severely flawed in my mind. I oversaw the building of a home from the foundation up in 2012 when my house in San Diego burned down. I have no interest in building or remodeling some disaster within someone else’s timeline again. Nor do I want to live in a place with only one restaurant that closes in a year with expired food.
The Learned Amendment
I thought I wanted a 500-year-old stone house in the city center. Boy was I wrong. Anything that old is going to be a mold farm and as stated previously, Italians don’t promote sleep. After looking at many homes and regions, my formula is now to buy land only, without structures that need to be rehabbed. I think ideally it would be on at least an acre of land a kilometer or so from a vibrant village center. As I save more money, I can add modular prefab structures to the property after building in water, sewage, and electric in advance. It would be a multi-year tiered project that allows for pauses for more ongoing travel. And which region wins?
What Do Our Hearts Yearn for?
There is a village in the north called Albenga. It’s near the French border and only 3.5 hours from Lake Lugano in Switzerland. You could sail to Corsica in 30 hours. We loved it.
Lucca is world famous and I could easily whittle away my days drinking wine in the piazza watching the old animated men play cards.
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| Lucca in springtime? Forgeddaboutit! This is the best, as good as it gets |
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| Aleja's 31st Birthday!! |
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| Like the old man said, “To know Lucca, you mustta walka da walls of Lucca” |
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| Lucca - the intact walls are surrounded by a lovely green belt |
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| We saw them repairing a water pipe and the Archeologists explained that the red bricks were Medieval and the bigger walled stones below were Roman. I love the history beneath our feet |
Ronciglione captured our hearts as we made friends in the first few hours and it improved daily. It’s only an hour north of Rome and that whole region of Lazio is stupendous.
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| So much...Wow! |
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| Ronciglione |
Then we found Fiumefreddo Bruzio. This is in the region of Calabria in the south. The whole coastline down to the tip of the boot is fantastic. But there was something about Fiumefreddo. It’s 3 hours from Sicily, 1.5 hours from a ski resort and within 30 minutes of 2 marinas (I think there might be another boat in my future. Stupid but I can’t stop myself from thinking about them). Not to mention it’s on the list of the 348 most beautiful villages in Italy. The views are out of this world.
Life As A Retiree
I had my annual blood work done for 12 Euros. The results were ready and emailed later that day. It doesn’t get cheaper or faster than that. The Italian health care is well respected. It’s not up to the Scandinavian level, but good enough for me. I think I would be perfectly happy as an old man in a cute Italian village yelling at kids, playing cards with my neighbors and wildly gesticulating about something that is undeserved of drama. I’m ready to go Italian.
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| Paestum: The contemplation of the ruins becomes a meditation on the passage of time |
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| These are Greek ruins on the west coast of Italy from 500 BC |
Becoming A Tax Resident
These long Italian spring afternoons are deliriously delicious! Gorgeous gnocchi with burrata, a crisp carafe of white wine, I love it here. However, to stay longer than 90 days in Italy I need to become a tax resident. I pass all their quantitative requirements and will apply in the future, but timing is key as it comes at a cost. The next steps will be deliberately slow. I’ll continue to look and plan and enjoy the rest of the planet in the meantime.
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| We even went to San Marino |
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| San Marino - Surrounded by Italy / Not Italy |
We slipped back into tourist mode (not that we ever really left it). Sicily was a first for us. We weren’t considering it for a place to purchase, because it’s usually too hot and an island isn’t the greatest for camper-based travelers. I did grow a mustache while in Sicily since, as a student of history, I wanted to show my respect for the Mustache Pete’s of days gone by. It was routinely ignored by strangers and loathed by my betrothed.
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| This is Syracuse / They built a church on the foundation of an old Greek temple. Do you see the column they incorporated? |
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| The Greek ruins of Agrigento |
I Didn’t Love Palermo
Driving in Palermo means making regular choices between hitting potholes or hitting the oncoming car. It’s an obvious choice and a horrible feeling when your tire drops into that hole. Palermo has the worst roads in Europe. (except for long stretches in the UK. I love the people though!)
Sardinia
The trouble started the minute we got off the ferry. It would have been a lot worse if I couldn’t have driven off. The camshaft pulling is held onto the camshaft with 4 bolts. They all sheared and then everything got really loud. I shut the engine off immediately and we pushed the camper 10 feet forward to a parking spot.
We slipped back out of tourist mode and quickly became AI querying engine fanatics. We ran around trying to find a mechanic that was willing to take on the job and could fit us in their garage. 4 shops turned us down. We finally found a place and impressed upon them how time was of the essence as we had a ship to catch to Barcelona and a Schengen Zone issue if we missed it (overstaying our visas). Cocco Gabriele said yes but made no promises on timing. What could we do? We had no other choices. I had the tow truck deliver Encore to their shop and we rented an apartment nearby.
We focused on food and drink (Good luck trying to find Italian seasoning in Italy). We did make an appeal at the local police branch in hopes that they could give us some form explaining that our mechanical issue was real in case we got in trouble with future officials. They were sweet as can be but we walked away empty handed. I think Italians are so friendly that even when they don’t help, they still get credit in your memories as being kind.
We texted daily with Cocco. We hadn’t discussed price or plan. They simply shooed us away and we had to blindly trust. I hate that, but we had zero options. The 4 nights at our apartment were coming to a conclusion and the owner had other guests coming. We were about to book another place when the call came. “Maybe if we can get this last part we can finish tomorrow.” It was the Friday before a long holiday weekend. Could we be that lucky? They moved mountains and got it done. I think they did more than they needed and it was $2,000 but we made our ferry and avoided a black mark in our passports. Victory!
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| Team Cocco Gabriele!! |
As the temp rises with spring and the coming summer, the campgrounds become busier and noisier. Compare Italy in May vs England in Dec. I can see how Sardinia is a place that I would love to come back to. I suppose if we buy a place in mainland Italy in the future this could be my playground. But for now, we had lost a lot of time with the engine issue and had only a few days to poke around the island.
Goodbye Sardinia, Goodbye Italy. If Sweden is a summer Utopia, Italy is a springtime dream. We loved our 3 months in this wonderful country and look forward to our return…so -
Come find us on the outskirts of an Italian village that has a future!
Your man on point,
Capt Bobby
