Friday, September 9, 2016

Random Clearing House


Random Clearing House / 1.5 Years on the Road
It’s been 6 months since I’ve posted my orphaned ideas and half-baked musings.  These are the underdeveloped notions that sat down and wouldn’t play nice with others. Hell, let’s just acknowledge that not everything can be an anecdote. But, for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to abort these zygotes with the delete key. Congratulations folks, it’s another unrequested episode of Bobby’s Random Clearing House.

6 Years On Sails And Solar Panels
– I’ve bought my carbon credits. Yes, I now drive a 7.3 liter diesel. Yes, I get less than 12 miles to the gallon (5 km per liter). But, I only drive 10,000 miles per year. That’s less than the average and I still live off a solar panel and clean burning propane. Not to mention, I never reproduced. How many diapers did I save the landfills? Come to think of it – I might be one of the most environmentally friendly people I know.
If you’ve had a kid, sorry but you’ve lost your chance to complain about my truck. If you’ve had 2 kids I could burn soft coal every night and still be a better friend to the planet than you. And three kids? Why not just melt glaciers full time? If you have 4 kids, you are a Mormon, and also have enough firepower, ammo and powdered milk to do whatever you want. I love those blonde children of the corn. In conclusion – stop breeding.

Let’s Keep It Dirty
I always keep one finger nail long so I can clean the grime from the others. It collects incredibly fast. I still think in English instead of Spanish but my English has an Australian accent because I feel so feral.

Coffee Irony
When I order a cup of Central American coffee I know it’s going to be spectacular. Wrong – The good stuff is grown here but it’s all exported for top dollar. The shake they sell here in the local eateries is crap. You can find the good stuff, but it’s in “Whitey Town” in-between the new deli and the pet clinic.

Heart and Lungs
2 reasons to never drive behind one of these enormous passenger buses: 1.) There is no regulation on emissions so you will be driving in a black cloud of death. 2.) They will break your heart with all the trash you’ll see them toss out of the windows.


I didn’t know the bus went there – It doesn’t. I got a Freedom Machine
There are those places that tourists just don’t venture. They aren’t on the circuit because no buses go there, so no hostels spring up, and because no hostels spring up the bus schedules don’t change. They stay pure.
You might rent a car and drive there for an afternoon but with no lodging you’ll be gone before nightfall. This is why I am a strong advocate of Overlanding & Cruising; self-contained travel with bed, toilet, shower, & kitchen included.


Death Awaits You
People ask if I’m happy. Is “happy” the goal? It seems like we might be setting the bar too low.
“Happy” sounds too mundane, too pedestrian. I want to feel challenged and alive and vibrant. It’s ice water to the face when I realize I don’t hold the local currency, I haven’t mastered the language,  I don’t know where I’m parking when the sun sets in 3 hours, and come tomorrow -  I don’t know where I’ll find food and water. Now that’s interesting! Now you have my undivided attention. I can’t “phone it in” in those situations. There’s no sleepwalking through days like these.
I think if all you are asking for is “Happy”… I think you’ve missed something, a very important something. Let’s shoot for full vitality. Let’s keep our mortar tubes pointing straight up so we get the best view of our own Supernova. And let’s strive for nothing less than Supernova. You don’t score a Supernova when you only shoot for “happy”.


You must stop tallying your life by how many “likes” your post got, and how many “friends” wished you happy birthday. Congratulations, you just lost another year. Listen, if you aren’t interested in what I’m doing - no problem, I don’t blame you. But do something more than the commonplace.
You saw The Matrix. Take the red pill and stop being a battery for society. You do realize we all die, right? My hunch is, that whatever you are doing; it isn’t making you as fully alive as what you could be doing. I realize it isn’t easy to do anything outside of the norm. Everything in society pushes you towards marriage, kids, a soul crushing mortgage and a job that sucks the life out of you for the next forty years to pay for it all. That’s how society makes a battery out of you. Know that it is possible to design your own life and that no one has ever knowingly applied for the position of “battery”. Take an inventory and “check your fire”. Is this really as good as it’s going to get for you? If your aim is simply –“happy” – you are aiming too low.

Potential squints into the Klieg Lights of Actualization and does one of 2 things: Gallops headlong into it, or turns away. Please, don’t turn away.

Changing Continents
As of today, it’s been exactly 18 months since I broke the border and entered Mexico to begin this snail pace adventure in Spanishland. I spent 6 months in Mexico and 1 year in Central America – I feel pretty good about that. And, it’s actually the 2nd year I’ve spent in Central America since I spent over a year when I was here on Barraveigh. But that was back when I was a “grotty yachty”, now I’m a “dirty driver”. They are only slightly different tribes and today I combined them just a bit.
I put Elsie on an enormous freighter bound for Colombia, and in 5 days I will embark on a sailing adventure to meet her. It’ll be 3 days of cruising the San Blas Islands before the 48 hour passage to Cartagena.

“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

Back-on-a-boat-Bobby

P.S. - Next blog: Panama!


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