Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Back In The USA

Back In The USA
Whenever I return to the USA I have a ritual. First I take a long pull from the drinking fountain. It’s so delightful to be able to drink the water. Then I go to the bathroom and flush toilet paper. I don’t even need to use the toilet. I just walk to an empty stall, peel off an enormous length of paper, wad it up into a huge ball and flush it. Then I do it again. Suck on that third world sewer pipes with minimal pressure. Now I’m ready to step foot on the soil of my birth. USA! USA!

Ice In The Urinals
I love my decadence. You know you live in the first world when they put ice in your urinal. You’ll never see that down south. Can you imagine what a Guatemalan on a visiting work permit must think when he saves up enough money to eat at Applebee’s and uses the restroom? “These pinche gringos have so much ice they put it in the pisser! Damn, this place is crazy!”

I was Stateside for 1 month. I ate my favorite foods, caught up with friends and family, did some house work, and bought stuff to take back to Elsie. It was also as equally boring as that last sentence. I love my country, my family and my friends, and I spent time in 2 very nice places; California and Arizona. There was nothing wrong with any of it, but it just pales to my life on the road. It’s difficult to watch reruns on a black and white tv when you’ve seen the latest releases on a 4K big screen. How will I ever be able to go home? I suppose there are worse situations. Some people work in coal mines.

Here Are The Highlights:
My friend Matthew bought this ridiculous car
and we raced it on the silver strand late one night and did 125mph in the turns. Stupid crazy fun!

I had a fantastic Xmas with the family at my cousin’s house. Family just has a way of putting everything into a pleasing perspective of persistence.

My pal Mark Sessions has this incredibly fast sand rail, 2 great kids and some really nice friends.
We enjoyed some time at the dunes driving way too fast on a surface that is unpredictable and ever changing. I screamed into the headset microphone with elation.
You need to add this to your bucket list.

Above all else I was treated to a couple weeks with my mom and brother.  There are many things I need to be grateful for but if you’ve ever met either one of these first class humans, you know I lucked out.

First Vs Third
Maybe a first world experience is one of closing yourself off while a third world experience is one of opening yourself up. Example: we have lots of money and can afford aircon which means we can close our doors and windows. They don’t and they can’t so they have more of an open door policy. We have myriad delivery systems of entertainment. We can lock ourselves away and stare at our phones and laptops and Xboxes. They don’t, so they play in the streets. When you get rich you buy yourself away from other humans. You dump your roommate and live alone. You purchase a 2nd house in the woods and you take up whittling. All humans value peace and quiet and some alone time. But the poor just can’t afford to do that. The third world is loud and crowded and boisterous and the first is quiet and sparse and sterile. I need both.

Any Minor Epiphanies Lately Bob?
Q: What does global sailing and cross continental driving have in common?
A: A life on the periphery.
My travels have granted me a scant observance of diverse societies while never really belonging to one. Who’s the deficient one now? Is it those who are too cowardly to leave their traditional lives or those who are unable to commit to a traditional life? I’m a voyeur. I’m just passing through. “No thank you, only looking.” What didn’t “click” in my development that I rebuke joining a society? That stings a little. Damn this incessant rain….

Your man on point,

3rd World Bobby

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