Great Britain - Again!

Ahh... The UK

Britain's pub culture is alive and well and I came to help keep it that way. I wanted to offer support in the form of economic patronage. Bending the elbow and then slapping the King's shrapnel unto the bar mat made me one with the Everyman - The backbone of British culture.

The Driving

I begin every day by reciting my mantra: “Drive on the left! Drive on the left! Drive on the left!” I can now admit that on the third day, I forgot. I must have driven about five blocks on the wrong side of the road before oncoming traffic scared the bejesus out of me. Can you imagine what the other guy thought in his little car? My motorhome barely fits on these little country lanes. Here's the funniest part, I honked. Can you believe that? I thought it was their fault. 

A Very Soft Landing

Our very first night we had supper together with some friends we’d met in Morocco. Mike, Nat, Alejandra and I have a 4 way chat group we call “Mind the Age Gap”. I think it’s quite clever you see, because they have 27 years between themselves as do Aleja and I. They are the ancient versions of us. Now you are going to think that was a mean statement but I can assure you that our whole mutually loving relationship is built around serving up insults. Nat is going to adore that one!

Pub Stops

The app is actually called Brit Stops but Pub Stops is far more accurate. We signed up for it 2 years ago when we drove our first lap around the British Isles. Back then it was a cumbersome book that they had to mail to us at a campground we knew we’d be at in Edinburgh.  That was 2022. Can you imagine? The app is a vast improvement and I wholeheartedly endorse their endeavor (I’m trying to “British up” my writing on this dispatch but I am dropping the “u”s since I yield to the American improvements regarding the language. My island friends are grinding their teeth a bit but hold tight…It’s gonna get a little worse)

The whole point of Brit Stops is that once you pay for the app you can avail yourself at any of the hundreds of locals that they have listed. You have a drink or 3, and/or a meal, and you are welcome to park in a designated spot that the pub has made available. We love it. More accurately – I love it. Aleja is not much of a drinker and this gives me a mandatory drink edict. Occasionally you can plug in for power for a nominal fee. 

Sometimes it’s much more than a nominal fee. Sometimes they are quite proud of their electrical outlet, know that the evenings have a bite to them, and that filling your French propane tank in Britain is not easy. We pay. When it’s November and the sun never really burned through the cloud cover for the 3rd day running and then it’s completely black at 4:30 pm - you need to pay for power since the solar panel can’t keep up. Still – Brit Stops is a much better value than every campground in Britain: The most expensive under serviced campgrounds in all of Europe. Want to use the shower? – extra. Wifi? – they usually don’t even have it and when they do – extra. Electric? – always extra. What would cost 20 Euros in France costs 40 Pounds in Britain. Look up the exchange rate. A Pound is 17% more expensive than a Euro. Britain is great but it’s no bargain.

More Arms Than An Octopus

Carpenter Arms, Arkwright Arms, Butcher’s Arms, Beaufort Arms… These are just some of the names of the pubs we stayed at. 

The word “Arms” comes from the “coat of arms” that the local guild had. 

One cannot do better than a succulent Hunter's Chicken and a pint of Guinness

Whitby

Capt James Cook lived here as an apprentice and slept in the rafters as a young adult. This is the man who essentially discovered EVERYTHING. Gene Roddenberry named James Kirk from Star Trek after him. This man was.... bigger than life! He inspired me decades ago and I finally made it here. 

I sailed half way around the world in 2007 (and it damn near killed me multiple times). This stud sailed 2.5 times around the world in the 1700's (And yes it killed him), but look what he brought to the knowledge base for all humanity. Epic Hero of the age of exploration.

Whitby

Whitby

James and Louise

These are our friends that we first met in Albania and then a year later in Greece and now at their place in Scotland. We just click. Silly fun boozy times. 

Ingleton

It happens occasionally where a single town seems to become the model for a whole genre. Ingleton was that for me. Look how adorable this little village is.

Burnley

If Ingleton is the perfect picture of a quaint Northern English village than Burnley is the role model for true North England comradery. It’s said that the Southerners are refined softies and the Northerners are friendly brutes. I can see why the stereotypes persist and I like them for exactly what they are. We came here 2 years ago and watched USA tie England in the World Cup while (whilst) drinking in the men’s club. Everyone was as friendly as can be and it was the same on this trip. We feel adopted by Burnley. Up The Claret!

Our Wonderful Burnley Hosts: Max and Jolene

Wales

Oddly – we spent an unusually large amount of time in Wales. I suppose there is no better bellwether for magnetism, then counting nights spent within its border. Yes, the accent is ridiculous but the people and scenery were superb. Though the driving was a little nervy – Check out the following video

The language is impossible

Ahh – the driving…

I think that most Britons have been to Europe, and I think that most Britons who go to Europe, fly. Because they drive on the opposite side of the road they choose the plane, the taxi and the train over the car. So, for Britons, it's very easy to have never driven on the continent. It's because of this Britons don't know how truly bad their roads are. Until you've driven the roads of Europe you don't have a comparison. Brit roads are shockingly bad. Damage to the vehicle bad. Albanian bad. Third world bad. If you need more vibrato in your singing vocals – drive the M-25 while doing your best Pavarotti rendition.

My Friend Nigel

Allow me to describe Britain as one of my college buddies. Let’s call him Nigel. He’s got a divorce and three kids under his belt. He's in middle management, with a promotion 10 years ago, but none since. Likes to drink, and has a great attitude. He's stuck in revolving credit card debt at 22%. Kind to animals. Completely dysfunctional at dating. Will call in sick to help a friend (that's why he hasn't had a promotion in ten years). He's close with his aging parents (bless them). Says he doesn't want their life even though he's matching it exactly. Has zero strategy for his own retirement and that’s very problematic. Nigel is an absolute sweetheart but I'm concerned for his future.

We Loved York!

York!

The Shambles - York!

York York York! Henry the VIII was a church killer

WX

Wet windy and cold. Everything is less fun with an earache. The typical British weather lived up to its stereotype and I complained to anyone in ear shot. There is a great word that the Americans should use: “Whinging”. I came to hate my own voice with all the moaning I did. 

The Economics

Sorry – I call em like I see em. Britain is expensive. I don’t mean London, which is outrageous – I mean the whole of Britain. I understand expensive, as I’ve traveled a bit, but Britain is expensive without value. Tahiti is expensive, SoCal is expensive, Luxembourg is expensive – but they deliver. The price / performance value … its just not there. 

The People 

This brings me to the other side of the coin, which is Britain’s greatest asset: Their People, I find them: friendly, helpful, honest, full of integrity, engaging, fun and funny. I like the stiff upper lip, and the “can do” mentality. Its people are Britain's greatest asset. 

Let me tell you about our very last night in England before catching the ferry back to France at an obscenely early hour. 

We had drinks in the pub we were parked behind and met a couple blokes who worked construction. We swapped buying rounds and phone numbers and a friendship was hatched. The next morning the knock on the door came before the sunrise, and there was Wayne with his team’s jersey and a couple beers. Now that’s what I’m talking about!

We also loved the Cotswalds

So… in Conclusion

I love Brits. I want to meet Brits. I am always happy to see a UK license plate in the campground – there’s my new friends! I want to meet Brits as I travel all around the world…  Brits – come find me abroad. You know you are looking for a reason to travel. Death to the Schengen Zone (the reason I keep going back) and long live Great Britain!

Burford in the Cotswalds

Your Seppo on Point,

Blacktop Bobby